so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
