Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
