Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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