True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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