I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
