the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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