And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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