best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
