If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
