Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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