hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
