dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
