I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
