Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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