You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
