So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
