i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
