whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
