Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
