Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
