Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you

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(972): View more from Texas

So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.

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(660): View more from Missouri

There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK

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(647): View more from Ontario

Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.

Fav 12 621 1211
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(954): View more from Florida

The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.

Fav 1 1050 630
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.

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