I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
