The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
