I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
