a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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