# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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