I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
