"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
