I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
