He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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