apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
