dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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