Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
