i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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