You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish life had little blips of pornography
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
