I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
