You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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