im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
