we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
