i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
well most of my day revolves around power hour
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
