I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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