We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
