Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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