I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
