Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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