You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
