Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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