Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
