i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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