I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
